I know. But there's only so much we can do to preempt this. Those of us who can handle it showing some willing might go some way to staving off whatever comes next.
[ It isn't why. It's part of why. He's doing his best to make it fit both needs. ]
[ This is the hard part. There's no accounting for that, no apologising for it when he's going to go ahead and do it anyway. To die will hurt her. He knows that.
But it won't kill her. Which is more than he can guarantee of the alternative. ]
[ her stuff's gone that night. not all of it. but a packed bag, some supplies, the kind of thing she's brought with her before on hikes out into the peaks. it's just another supply trip, and it's not. it's getting clear of the blasting zone. ]
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[ It isn't why. It's part of why. He's doing his best to make it fit both needs. ]
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(cw: bad attitude abt suicide yikes)
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I almost killed you without even trying. I do not have a handle on this, and we don't know what I'll become.
I won't risk it. At least this way it isn't a waste.
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[ she's quiet for a moment. ]
I'm not doing it. I'm done sitting over corpses. I don't want any part of this.
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But it won't kill her. Which is more than he can guarantee of the alternative. ]
I understand.
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