IC INBOX

[klepto]

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Nami, 24

ABOUT_YOU

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[klepto]

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[rehandle]

Because your intuition's too good for bullshit.

I want to donate my heart.

[klepto]

Absolutely not.

[rehandle]

I know. But there's only so much we can do to preempt this. Those of us who can handle it showing some willing might go some way to staving off whatever comes next.

[ It isn't why. It's part of why. He's doing his best to make it fit both needs. ]

[klepto]

This isn't about preempting anything. This is about you having some weird fucking kink for your own suffering. It's bullshit, Stephen.

[rehandle]

Nami. [ Fuck. ] I have to do something.

(cw: bad attitude abt suicide yikes)

[klepto]

Dying isn't doing something, Stephen, it's giving up.

[rehandle]

[ Jim had pointed the same sharp stick at him a month ago when it hadn't been real. It's only fair that she wield it now that it is. But - ]

I almost killed you without even trying. I do not have a handle on this, and we don't know what I'll become.

I won't risk it. At least this way it isn't a waste.

[klepto]

And fuck me, I guess. I just get to sit by and watch you die. Again.

[ she's quiet for a moment. ]

I'm not doing it. I'm done sitting over corpses. I don't want any part of this.

[rehandle]

[ This is the hard part. There's no accounting for that, no apologising for it when he's going to go ahead and do it anyway. To die will hurt her. He knows that.

But it won't kill her. Which is more than he can guarantee of the alternative. ]

I understand.

[klepto]

[ her stuff's gone that night. not all of it. but a packed bag, some supplies, the kind of thing she's brought with her before on hikes out into the peaks. it's just another supply trip, and it's not. it's getting clear of the blasting zone. ]